We see this time and time again that our loved ones are faced with the emotional challenges of coming to terms with the reality of what their needs are versus what is their “wants”.

We most definitely look to put in place trategies to circumvent potential anxiety, resistance and emotional war-fare and want for our loved ones to remain as independent as possible, but there are those situations that no matter what you, or how you try, it may not be good enough to stop the cycle of an upset and disgruntled parent.

An example and a case in point are two sisters who live approximately 3000 miles away from their father, who have been made aware of issues within his home and lifestyle that is spiraling out of control. Dad is living well above his means, to the point that the priority expenses such as healthcare coverage is lapsing for non-payment. The numbers unequivocally speak for themselves and regardless of what the “desires” are of dad, the realities remain the same; a reoccurring negative balance of approximately $2,000/month, returned checks month after month and car repossession notices, who would not identify that there is a financial crisis occurring and who would continue to persecute themselves day after day by not letting go? So here is where the battle begins!

If situations such as these are occurring within your family, we understand that it can be a frustrating and at times a lonely place to be. For someone on the outside looking in, this too can be deemed as very sad, but for our loved ones who are “living” in their own “truth”, it is so real, authentic and for most their last ditch effort to maintain normality and independence.

So how can these situations be controlled and if already in an emergency situation, what steps can be taken to overcome these problems from month to month.

Senior Care Planning

Below are a few key points:-

1. Begin the discussions with your loved one early to assist in the monthly bill paying responsibilities. Do not wait for the crisis to arise
2. Become proactive and create an itemized list of what your love ones current expenses are. Maintain this as your own tracking tool
3. Evaluate the “necessary” and “vocational” expenses to determine those that can be eliminated with the least amount of turmoil and upset to your loved one
4. Continue and maintain active and open communication to encourage the introduction of future steps to eliminate these expenses which are noted as more important to them
5. Implement steps to implement the changes. Create incremental phases to minimize the distress of “loss”.
6. Educate yourself on resources available. Be in a position to provide optimal and affordable alternatives.